Taylor Swift is so right about you.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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