just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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