I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
