are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
