I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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