god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
