Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
