Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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