actually, I'm a sock model
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The power of my boobs compel you
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
