I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
