is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
