I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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