You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
