Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
