There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
