I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
