My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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