thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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