You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
