i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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