I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just tell him i said nine months
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
