Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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