also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize