Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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