she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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