i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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