dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
