I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
