I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
