I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize