Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
