I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
