I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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