Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
