We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
