I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
