Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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