my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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