THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
