Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
