i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
And then the night went full on bisexual.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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