I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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