he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
