He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
