I want to have your abortion
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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