I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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