only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
