I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
