HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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