I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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