I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
