i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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