office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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