Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
