When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She's the barista slut.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
