i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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