it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
of course. lets lasso hookers.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
