winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
