weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize