i may or may not be watching the land before time
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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