Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We have started to decorate penises.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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