College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
false alarm, still single
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
