i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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