the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
