PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
