Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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