just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Your mouth is God's brothel.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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