The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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