Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
