She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
